I have a new neighbor who is a salesman at a Cadillac dealership. He insists the new line of Cadillacs are solid buys so I have had a few conversations with him about getting me into a sedan or coup. I did express my concerns about the Cadillac being notorious for electrical problems, which he promised are not an issue.
He drives a white Nissan Maxima.
Imagine even, complaining publicly that your restaurant is being unfairly boycotted because it serves the Whopper, insisting that everyone give the Whopper a chance, and later that night at the dinner table serving Big Macs.
This smoke is not for the Black man who is post-racial, or is not racialist in his outlook. A black man who does not employ race at the forefront of his identity and unions with a non-black woman is free of this criticism. He is consistent. Those black men live a life that objectively evaluates events and situations and relationships and people. They do not use their race as a crutch, nor as an excuse, or even as a qualifier. Being ‘black’ is not a limit to their success nor is it a free pass in life for these men.
This criticism is directed particularly at the black man who professes blackness, points out the unfair circumstances he perceives are inflicted upon he and his ‘people’, raises the closed fist—and his family photo is with a woman who is not black. He will lament non-acceptance of him as black and their interracial relationship. I have encountered a number of these, who promote blackness from one side of their mouth, while the other side of their mouth whispers into the ear of their non-black partner who is sometimes at his side, sometimes in the background. As old an issue as this is, as contradictory a position to be in, it persists. My first encounter with this kind of arrangement was a childhood friend who came home from his US Army stint in Germany with a German wife. Problem was, he was a ‘Five Percenter’. For those outside of the northeast and particularly New York and Philadelphia, the Five Percent nation is an offshoot of the Nation of Islam, and as simply as I can put it, professes ‘Black Nationalism’. So how did this friend reconcile his Black Nationalism with a wife from the bloodline of Aryans? He tried to ‘ethnicize’ this porcelain skinned white woman into ‘knowledge of self’ and taught her various afrocentric viewpoints, to the extent she saw the need to educate me about my identity. It was infuriating. I saw in him the ultimate hypocrite: pro-black except when it suited his needs, as though being black is a ‘suit’ that one can put on and take off at will. And just like Samuel Jackson’s character in “Jungle Fever” said, “. . . she ain’t no prize, this is a reject dem white boys didn’t want.”
This theme repeats itself despite the obvious glaring conflict. If you did not accept blackness in linking with a non-black partner, why should others? If no black woman is primarily ideal, desirable, or even relatable, then the criticism of the African American from other ethnic/racial groups is valid. The problem you have with HER (black women generally speaking) is the same problem they, the other races, have with YOU (black men generally speaking).
To restate for clarity, post-racial black men are not the subject of this writing. They are NOT advocating blackness, they are also not detracting blackness. Those men are not complaining of racial bigotry; you are. You can say they are not or ever were pro-black, so their gravitation toward women of other races is not contradicted by stated goals of racial hegemony, of a desire for ‘Black Power’ That’s the goal of the pro-blackety black man who then refuses to have a woman his complexion at his side. Look at the leading ladies of any African American entertainment from television to film to music video. Them chocolate boys make sure the chocolate woman is off on the side or in the back. So on matters of race, or questions of my politics or complexion, or my music tastes, or my diction, I just will not accept having my identity questioned by the glaringly inconsistent black man who seems to only want racial differences ignored so they can run amok with some white or Puerto Rican man’s daughter.
I’m not against interracial unions—I’m against saying you’re pro-black, criticizing me as a Black Republican (married to a Black woman), and then hugging your non-black woman. I have close friends in these kinds of relationships who will wonder where I’m going with this. Most of them this does not apply to. A man who has sampled across the racial spectrum and has dated black, dated Hispanic, dated ‘white’, maybe even dated Asian is just out having a good time. But when it is the same, non-black woman mold repeatedly, always with someone not black, but then complaining about not being ‘accepted’ somewhere, or her dad doesn’t like you, something else is at work.
But even that is okay. I’m not telling you who to be with, date who you want–but you no longer have the basis to lecture me on race.
The late Kevin Samuels said in one of his podcast closing monologues, “We need Black men and Black Women having Black Babies and making Black families”. It is widely accepted that the foundation of any community and group of people are its families. If you are “Pro-Black”, how is your non-black woman building the foundation of a Black existence?
So I’m not going to sit and listen to pontifications about non-acceptance from her family, or her friends, or society in general. Nor will I entertain complaints and backhanded criticisms of matters you encountered based on race while you had the opportunity to stand on your people and you went the other way. Neither will I tolerate that you are going to pass her off as one of ‘us’. If she is sympathetic to our challenges, I accept that. If she shares our interests, fine. But don’t try to portray her as more ‘Black’ than me.
